Cupid Boot Camp
by L.X.ie
Summary: summery inside. AU, maybe OOC, a bit SYOC Love is war, and do you know where to train for war? Boot Camp. Here budding cupids learn from the correct technique of shooting a love arrow into someones tush to breaking someone up in the nicest way. On hold until I finish The Gypsy Caravan. I also might want to change some things BTW.
1. Love is War

Summery: Cupid Boot camp. There are the Locators, the H-MU and H-BU (Human Make and Break- Ups), the P-MU and P-BU (Pokémon Make and Break- Ups), and the Sentinels.

Their jobs are to help us helpless humans with our non-existent love lives. At the C*R*U*S*H (Cupids' Reliable Ultimate Safe House) 4077 these wannabe cupids are going through rigorous training to pair up these humans with their significant other, each cupid in their own field, but there are going to be problems in the C*R*U*S*H, and when Eros himself comes to check on their progress will he find a fine-tuned machine or a broken pile of junk?

_~Love is War~_

"All right you squirtles. You are here to protect your assigned Make-Up or Break-Up." Commander Paul said. He said it very calmly and coolly but they could hear his voice ring out from over the troops strong and clear. His black eyes boring down on the tiny troop daring them to object.

"Yes, sir!" The group shouted as one.

"Good. Now. Roll Call…" He looked down at his clipboard and started with the first name.

_~Love is War~_

"You might think this is going to be easy. It's not." The instructor sternly said. "Pairing two people who belong with each other is hard. You are going to make mistakes and if and when you mess up and pair them with the wrong person that is what we need the Break-Ups for, so none of the prejudices towards them.

"Think about it, your goal here is to successfully pair a person with their soul-mate. The one person in the _whole world_ that is the perfect match for them. When you bind a pair together with their soul-mate you will graduate from C*R*U*S*H 4077 and become a cupid." She finished off the mandatory lecture with a bright smile that matched the glee in her baby blue eyes.

A girl with navy blue hair raised her hand. "What if you don't pair two people together for all eternity?"

The instructor named May shrugged. "Then you'll just have to take it again…" She trailed off looking at the girl's nametag. "Dawn."

_~Love is War~_

"Gary." Leaf greeted with a nod.

With a smirk Gary reciprocated but with a guy nod. The one when they nod upwards. "Still Locating for May?"

"Still Locating for Drew?" Leaf shot back.

"Now, now. Claws in, Leafy. Just because our Make-Ups are in a rivalry doesn't mean we have to."

"Gary, we have been in a rivalry even before we were met May and Drew. Just because all of us decided to stop… Cupiding doesn't mean there's no rivalry going." Leaf huffed out a breath. "Besides they aren't really our Make-Ups anymore, we Locate for the whole camp."

"Well sorry Leaf, but we are the only two Locators, so I guess you're stuck with me."

"Well there's always hope that someone can save me from this ongoing nightmare that is you." She stuck out her tongue childishly.

"Oh Leaf. Just admit you love me." He started toward her with his arms out as if to hug her.

Holding out her hand she stopped him in his tracks. "Save the love for the civilians, Gary."

_~Love is War~_

"Hey, I'm Ash" The new recruit whispered to the redheaded girl next to him. Although she would be best described as carrot topped. The group was waiting for their instructor who was late.

"I'm Misty." She whispered back. "Why are you here?" She questioned.

"Well… I don't really know. I guess because I love Pokémon and not all that good with human relationships. I tried that last year. I'm hoping I'm better for Pokémon."

"Oh, I guess I'm here for that too. They merged the P-MUs and P-BUs this year so what are you? I'm a Make-Up."

"Well since they merged I'm kinda both. I'm just going with whichever I'm better at."

Misty nodded. "I guess that makes sense." The crowd around them hushed as they spotted the instructors coming.

Ash leaned in until his breath touched her ear. "Talk to ya later." And he stood at attention while Misty had the faintest red tint to her cheeks.

**A/N: Yes, yes I have other unfinished stories but this has been in my brain festering for a long time!**

**To be honest it's labeled 'humor' but I'm not sure how funny I am.**

**It's kinda inspired by M*A*S*H [if you watched that show you are awesome ;)], Greek mythology, and later a tiny bit of Tinker Bell. Hahaha**

**There's also going to be some army slang. Turtles/Squirtles= new replacements**

**If you want submit an OC as a civilian for the cupids to pair up. I think of it as practice for characterization. Here are the rules.**

**Rules: **

**1) Only civilians, unless you really, really, realllllly want to be a cupid of mentioned. But the main plan is to focus on the shippings but I think that adding some SYOCs would be fun.**

**2) _If you want to have a relationship send them with a partner. _They won't be together in the start but will end up together. Oh! And you can send in Pokémon relationships with them too! *hint*hint* ;) like gossamershipping or something like that. Nidoran and Nidoran etc. **

**3) Once it's confirmed that your OC is in the story, I will PM you, please don't nag or complain about your OC. If you don't like the way I'm writing your OC YOU WRITE IT THEN! :P **

**4) Only by PMs please and thank you.**

**5) Be wordy. The more information the better.**

**6) You can submit through the 22nd. June 22nd to clarify.**

Name:

Age:

Birthplace:

Where they are now:

Class: (trainers, breeders, new gym leaders, coordinators etc.)

If Pokémon, species:

Looks:(Hair,eyes, weight, body type, height, fingernail length, try to paint a picture.)

What they wear:

Personality:(write, write, write. This is your person here. Your baby!)

History:(Family, friends, moments that made them like they are today)

How they react: (When they are angry, sad, happy, upset, etc.)

Relationship: (Yes, No. If yes with who.)

Relationship history with that person/Pokémon: (add some feels and be creative. Not all people can be with their best friends and, please, some that aren't mutual but they will be at the end. I'm looking for creativity. Good luck!You don't have to do this if you don't want your OC in a relationship.)

Do they like each other mutually, one-sided (for _now hahahaha_), they don't know it yet:

Pokémon-For humans: (1-3 please, they might or might not come into play)

1:

2:

3:

If Pokémon: Who's your human or wild.

I,(insert name here) shall not bug, nag, or complain about my OC to L. and fully give her rights to control my OC in her story or suffer the consequences.


	2. Stupid Cupid

_~Love is War~_

**Few days later**

"Hey Lyra," May greeted, stepping up next to her. "How's the troops?"

Lyra adjusted her poufy hat over her brown pigtails. "Fine. All of them have good potential. They understand the concept that it's best to break up a couple it's best to do it kindly and just open their eyes that that is not their soul mate." She paused and rested the tip of her pointer finger against her cheek, still walking. "Though, do you remember Silver? He's taking this again and has yet to grasp the concept 'let them down easy' he's going to take this forever if he doesn't have at least _one_ good break up."

She stopped abruptly turning to her Make-Up friend. "Do you know what he did last time? He just came up to the girl, gave her a picture of her boyfriend kissing a girl, and said 'he's cheating on you' in that monotone voice of his and left!"

May's blue eyes grew large. "Wow. From a stranger too. Did it break them up?"

Lyra sighed. "Almost. The boyfriend wasn't cheating. The picture was of him and an old girlfriend before her. I had to go and clean it up."

May slowly shook her head. "I'm glad I don't have your job, sister. I couldn't break someone up. And you have your hands full with Silver there."

"I do, but I'll have him see reason. Fourth time's the charm right?" She grinned jokingly. "How 'bout your troops?"

"Good, good. I got a late one, Jin Mae. She's good, transferred from Psyche's Secondary School and is recommended to help with the other students."

"All I got from that is that her name is gin she stole your name."

May pushed Lyra's shoulder and chuckled. "Shut up. I know what your thinking and it has nothing to do with cards or alcohol." After a pause the Make-Up continued. "I have another, Dawn. She's confident that she's a good matchmaker but terrified of the process. And she's scared of the emergency arrows, afraid she's going to hit someone."

"She does know that it's the point to hit someone and it doesn't actually hurt, right?"

"I know, I know. When they first come here they think it's as simple as shooting someone with an arrow but no. They have to learn if they will make a good couple, good chemistry, and the only way you learn that is if you get them together and see them in action.

The other day they asked why we even use the arrows. I explained that the arrows don't force people to fall in love but it opens their eyes, if there is romantic love for the other person the person whose shot realizes it and just… tries harder.

Other camps say just to shoot the pair with arrows but this way is more natural. I just think the arrows are more forceful, plus having them see it for themselves makes it more likely they'll stay together. If they break up and we helped before we can't do anything about it."

"Yeah, which is why I'm the Break-Up." May's friend winked. "I just have to break them up. It's easier breaking something than mending something back together."

They started walking again when May responded. "I don't get you sometimes. You are nice and can be a good Make-Up but you choose to break up humans."

Lyra shrugged. "Yeah, but remember the other guy before me. Terrible heartbreaking break ups all over the world. With me in charge more cupids are breaking up people gently, with the exception of Silver, which means less broken hearts and more open hearts."

"True, it's easier to have someone fall in love if their heart isn't broken and their trust shattered."

After walking in silence for a while May brought up a different subject. "Your lucky that you don't have to work with a partner. Spinach Brain barely showed up the first few classes."

"To be honest May I think that you only complain about Drew because you like him."

May's mouth gaped as she stared at her friend. "No! No, I do not!"

"I believe that was a double negative."

"He just doesn't show up! It would be easier if he actually showed up to help but no! He doesn't! I have no idea what the heck he's doing all the time but he signed up for this, the least he could do is show up!" May ended her rant by crossing her arms over her chest. "I swear if he doesn't show up today he's a dead cupid."

Lyra chuckled quietly to herself at the shorter brunette's carefully hidden concern in a long drawn out complaint.

May, pouting, muttered. "Stupid cupid."

This time Lyra laughed out loud.

_~Love is War~_

A green haired young man waltzed up to another man who was dressed in a black T-shirt and black cargo pants sitting at a mess hall table. Plopping across the table from him Drew waited till Paul felt like acknowledging him.

After a few moments Paul finally spoke up, not looking up from his book. "Are you just going to stare at me like that all through breakfast." He turned a page.

The Make-Up smirked. "I was thinking about it. So how's training going?"

"Fine." Paul grunted.

"What are you training them on first?" Drew inquired.

"Hand-to-hand combat."

"Ah. Changing it up I see." He got no response. "Any problems?" Again nothing. "So how many Sentinels-in-training do you have?" Paul just kept reading his book. "Do y-"

"If each Make/Break-Up has one Sentinel, including me, we are short 13. Some Ups might have to pair up and go without a Sent or make a group with one but I don't think that would matter if they're already in a group. So if you're worried about your little girlfriend getting in trouble or hurt by them, she'll be fine. Now don't bother me." After the longest speech Drew ever heard from the normally quiet man Paul got up and discreetly left the Mess Hall, leaving his book behind.

Drew, silent, slid the black and yellow book that Paul was reading over to his side.

Basic Training for Dummies

Complete with unlaced combat boots on the cover the book was a silent answer for Drew's next question.

Realizing that Paul knew of his concerns and the reasons for his questioning Drew muttered, "stupid cupid."

_~Love is War~_

Ash was paging through a book showing Pokémon typical mating rituals, when they are courting, showing themselves off, and when they found their mate.

Solidad was both the Make and Break-Up instructor for Pokémon. She studied both when she was younger, Brock is more of her assistant with the Make-Up part but is the cook and medic in the camp.

Solidad suggested to read the assigned book, it isn't required, but it helps reading the Pokémon's interest. With Pokémon, pairing them up, it's more of the task of letting the one that the interested one is… well, interested in, know that the interested one is… interested.

Reading on Ash scanned the word seeped pages. _"Pokémon relationships are, for the most part, for life. They feel the attraction and the brave ones let the one they're interested in know but they shyer of the bunch are too nervous to let them know. In this respect they are very much human, the real difference is that they know what they feel. There is no denial or 'I don't like them in _that_ way!' they know what they feel but not what the beloved one feels, which causes some anxiety. _

_Break-Up arrows are often a misconception of infusing the target with malformed feelings. For humans and Pokémon Break-Up arrows just let them perceive the 'whys' that the person or Pokémon is not right for them. It finds the things they don't like and can't accept and amplifies them._

_The only real instance that Pokémon need Break-Ups are when the trainer or outward forces have persuaded the Pokémon to mate with another that is not their intended. Pokémon are wired to mate for life and unless they realize their soul mate is still out there they stay with the one pressured to them, most don't typically go rushing into romance (although there is an occasional instance of love at first sight) and wait until their instincts recognize their other half._

_The real challenge for you, the cupid, is the make-up. To persuade the Pokémon to put their heart out and face the option and nervous hurt of rejection. And to recognize the signs of interest and rejection._

Ash yawned and rubbed his eyes trying to stay awake to read the book. He shook his head, his black hair flying everywhere, and started the process again. Under the paragraph there were a few pictures with the breakup process undergo. Uncertainty and slight annoyance flitting in the people's gazes, a mankey and an aipom at a daycare center both distracted by other occurrences.

Skipping ahead a few pages the cupid stops at a random chapter.

_One common way to show interest is showing themselves off by a dance or something they think is impressive, displaying their attractive features, performing moves to demonstrate power, or fighting for the one they love._

On the next page were a few pictures of a male butterfree captured in the middle of a dance trying to gain the attentions of a female butterfree.

Skipping a few pages again Ash resumes reading and skims to the last sentence.

_No one has seen a Pokémon mate or give birth to an egg in person. It's unknown why, but most assume that they prefer privacy._

'_Well why don't they just ask a Psychic Type is beyond me' _Ash thought as he turned the page.

_Here human scientists have put in cameras in a daycare center and have photographed a communion wi-_

"Gaahhh!" Ash slammed the book closed and threw it a short distance from where he was sitting in the dirt. Ash leaned his head back against the taut material of the tent behind him with the heels of his hands squishing his eyeballs, as if he could push the picture from his mind.

After sitting there for a few moments adamantly thinking about ice cream and hamburgers he heard footsteps.

"What's got your panties in a twist." The fiery redhead demanded.

Ash didn't say anything as he pointed in the general direction of the book. One eye open as he saw Misty pick up the book and skim through it.

"Okay. I don't see what's wrong here."

"I-It's th-th-they… they just had a picture of Pokémon making eggs!" He burst out in a rush, he felt heat rush up his head and ears.

Brow furrowed Misty skimmed through the book again. "…Ash. You do realize that it's not that bad. It's just two eevees nuzzling each other."

"Yes. But what they _implied_." Ash shuddered, dropping his other hand. Perhaps a tad overdramatized pretending to be joking to cover his embarrassment.

Misty shook her head, seeing through his charade yet still amused. "Wow, Ash. Wow." She sat next to him and punched his shoulder. "You're such a stupid cupid. Do I even want to know your reaction to people being born?"

Said stupid cupid shrugged. "Same as Pokémon I guess. I am kinda glad that I know I wasn't born that way."

"What. Were you hatched?" Her voice teasing.

He crooked his head at her. "Misty, we're all born when two humans find their soul mate by themselves."

"Ah, uh. Never mind." She sighed as she slapped him upside the head. She would have used her travel mallet but she misplaced it somewhere. "Like I said. You are such a stupid cupid."

_~Love is War~_

Leaf was clicking away at the computer in the biggest building in the camp, where it held all of the important technology of finding a pathetic love life and their most promising match. Note it is not an exact science and when is love something you can calculate? But it's pretty damn close.

The expansive screen on the north wall, completely taking over the space, is of all the regions where the Locators can pinpoint the person's whereabouts.

Leaf was in front of a high-speed updated computer constantly updating it, reprogramming it, and making sure that the programming (that she helped program and dubbed the Love Machine for kicks) has as little errors as possible.

It's a big job. They specialize in when soul mates meet each other or mature enough to accept it, but don't recognize the other half of their spirit and the Ups have to convince them that they should tell them their feelings, dump their current boy/girlfriend, get out of denial, etc.

When the scanner finds a Spark a red dot bings on the map and she narrows it down to a more precise location and to whom. She scrutinizes the spark-ees' romance history and classifies what class the soon-to-be couple is at currently and around the difficulty level it would be to get them together.

It's a big job and someone has to do it. And no one would be better suited than her. She's the one who helped design it. Who makes sure it's running smoothly. Who-

"Black Jack on Red Queen, Leafy."

Ignoring the smooth tenor behind her she retorted, "I'm actually playing Spinark. The same colors go on each other." Smoothly putting the three of hearts on the four of hearts.

He chuckled behind her. She didn't realize how close to her he was. "Of course."

Acting quickly so she wouldn't feel his warm breath ruffling her hair anymore she pushed off of her swivel chair on wheels and rammed the back of the chair into him. She heard an 'oof' when she felt shoved into his stomach.

Spinning on her heel she saw Gary in all his pervert-y glory. His brown hair with accents of auburn spiked in different directions. His black shirt fitted over his chest with a purple pendant hanging from his neck, hands nonchalantly resting in his jeans. His black obsidian eyes locked to hers in an eternal staring contest on who gives first.

Not blinking she stared back at him taking the challenge. She moved closer to increase the intensity of her stare, he merely smirked.

When there were only a couple of inches between them Leaf's lips moved into a pucker and Gary's lips stretched the smirk into a smug grin.

He leaned forward slightly and Leaf-

-blew a shock of air straight into his eyes automatically forcing him to clench his eyes to protect his retinas.

His hand flying to protect his eyes he cried out at the sudden wind. "Back off perv!" Leaf shouted.

"Ack! There are easier ways to get a kiss, Leafy." Gary said while rubbing his eyes, blinking them rapidly.

She gave an open palmed smack on his chest, hard. "You are such a stupid cupid."

"Really, Leaf? Stupid cupid? I thought you could do better. So cliché." He rolled his slightly red eyes.

"Oh yeah you d-"

Her insult/threat was interrupted by a sudden beeping noise.

They both turned to look at the monitor and saw a red dot in the Kanto region. Stepping lightly to the computer, and shutting off her card game, Leaf zoomed in on the dot.

The big monitor zoomed in on the region, forests and oceans receding from the picture until it split in two screens, indicating that it was a maturity affect.

On the left side of the screen was a picture of the Cerulean City Gym and zoomed in some more to get a clearer picture. In the right top corner of the left screen came a headshot of a girl of 17. She had long, straight sun-bleached blonde hair with aquamarine streaks. Her eyes were happy yet determined gems of the same color as the streaks growing from her head. Her skin was very pale and the hint of her shoulders showed the pink tint of a sunburn. On her left eye was a light pink birthmark in a rough shape of a 5-pointed star.

On the right was a scene of long grass, dirt road, and trees. Obviously traveling and training the satellites zeroed in on the top of the young man it was spying on. It looked like he was roughly around 5'8" and even from the poor quality they could see his big grin, smiling at nothing around him. The headshot showed up on the left top corner of the right half. Around 17 his short, not-quite-blonde nor not-quite-brown, more of a tan color, hair brushed off to the right side of his forehead brushing his eyebrow. His dark eyes, a shade off of black, glowed with the energy of a carefree child. His tan skin crinkled around his eyes as he smiled. A lighter hue of tan formed a shape of a crescent-shaped birthmark over his right eye.

"Aww, how cute. They match." Cooed Leaf from over the computers.

"Yeah, yeah Leaf. What's the verdict." He stipulated.

"The girl is Gabi Kurashiki, the boy is Nathan Tenmyouji. For both of them it's a C-4Red. It might be easy if the right Make-Up does it."

"Great. We have to deal with two friends who don't know that their perfect person has been in front of them for practically their whole lives."

"Shut it, Gary. They both, literally, just matured enough for their feelings to blossom."

"Have you been reading romance books again, Leafy." He teased.

Leaf growled low in her throat as she brought a decent sized mallet she found earlier colliding with Gary's torso.

"OW! Hey! Gah! Where the Hades did you get a mallet?!" Gary sputtered as he tried retreating.

Leaf smiled sweetly. "Found it." And resumed hitting him again.

_~Love is War~_

**A/N: I don't know a lot about SoulSilvershipping, I just realized I forgot about a teacher for Human-Break-Ups. So there might not be a lot of that.**

**Psyche is Eros's wife. If your curious about the tale let me know I'll PM you. Psyche means 'soul' in Greek Mythology and in English it's something about the mind. Add Eros the God of Love you get the three main parts where people think love resides: The heart, soul, and mind. At least that's what I think. Psyche and Eros is also believed to be the first fairytale, it's kinda like Beauty and the Beast.**

**Oooh I added some plot didn't I? ;) If you turn your head and squint. Tell me if you picked it up! ;D**

**I tried to put more information about my cupids in here. Any confusion just ask.**

**Is it sad that I just noticed that Eros is the base word for 'erotic'? I did not get that until I was staring at the word. **

**Fun Fact: Eros is the son of Aphrodite the Goddess of Love and Ares the God of War. Eros = Love is War haha**

**And to be honest I freaking love Greek Mythology and this fic is also an excuse to discuss love. I just find it such a fascinating subject.**

**Last few things: There is a pattern to the code but you'll probably never decode it. Jin Mae is created by ****Cakedecorator. ****Gabi Kurashiki and Nathan Tenmyouji is created by ****Ins4ne Gam3r.**


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